What is a Soul?
by icywarm
Summary: He was gone, but now he's back. The death had been temporary, but did they gain anything by bringing him back. Something had been lost. What really was a soul?- HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Another fanfic. You can shoot me now. No. Wait, not me. My plotbunnies for this. Shoot it while allowing the ones for other fics to live.**

**I do not own Durarara in anyway, shape, or form. I do own this idea though.**

* * *

A death. An unexpected death. That's what brought Izaya Orihara to his 'friend', Shinra Kishitani's, home. He had to come. To see if it was real. And if it was real, to reverse it.

Yes. To reverse a death. To reverse the death of one Shizuo Heiwajima. After all, monsters don't die.

So how die the 'monster of Ikebukuro' die? Simply, his brain shut down. His brain shut down for no given reasons. Or, if there were reasons, they weren't important. It wouldn't be happening again.

"Izaya, I really need you to leave. I'm preparing the body." That sentence was said with such morbid, that Izaya almost did leave. _Almost_. That would have destroyed the purpose had he done it.

"Ne, Shinra. I don't see why you're so sad. He's a monster. Just bring him back. If it really was his brain that shut down, then it should be no problem getting it started, as well as his heart beating and such." It was so simple. But, Shinra seemed apprehensive at it.

"I really don't think we should bring someone back from the dead. Besides, even if we do bring his body back, his soul would still be gone."

Izaya made a 'tsk' sound in the back of his throat as he shook his head. "Shinra, Shinra, Shinra, Shinra. You silly male. What's a soul? Nothing. You are just you. A body works with science. There is nothing divine up there to keep us going, nor is there a place we go after death. You just, stop. Really, he'll be thanking you for bringing him out of that void of nothing. It'll be as if he's woken from a sleep in which he didn't dream. Only he was dead."

Izaya sighed and shook his head. "Monsters don't die, Shinra. And if you don't bring him back, you know that I'll hire people to get his body back and bring him back myself. Of course, there is a chance that we wouldn't get his body until it started to rot. In which case, we'll just have to cut off or out whichever pieces were rotting. You don't want that, do you? Poor little Shizu-chan, walking around with no arm because we cut the rotting out of him. You can bring him back fresh, body in tact, or watch your friend suffer through that."

"I, of course, would keep messing with him, missing limbs or not. He'd go chasing after me possibly with no legs. Or drop one of those vending machines on himself because he wouldn't be able to hold it over his head with just one hand. Besides, think of the poor brute's little brother. Oh no! His brother, dead. He could have come back and spent time with me, but his so-called friend was to mean to bring him back!"

Izaya snickered. "I can actually imagine seeing his look of hurt. He doesn't know yet, that he's dead. No one but I know. I and you and Celty. Possibly Namie does as well. But no more than that. He could have come back, but you didn't want to. And then I get him, and he's not even all him. What if his heart was rotting? We'd have to switch that with someone else's heart. It'd be funny, watching him attempt to chase after me with a heart not as strong as his own, forced to give up before the game really starts because he can't get oxygen fast enough. So, what do you say, Shinra; will you be bringing Shizu-chan back, or be risking what could happen if I bring him back?"

Shinra was still very apprehensive. But, he could tell that the male was serious. Very serious. He couldn't let something like that happen to Shizuo. The chance of him rotting before Izaya got him. It'd be…horrible. And, there was a chance that Izaya was right. That there wasn't an afterlife of any sort. All the atheists in the world might be right. In which case, Shizuo would thank him. Then again…there was a chance that they were wrong. And there was an afterlife. Shizuo might hate him for pulling him out of that. And the soul. What of the soul? Would it come back, did it never leave, would he live without one? How would someone with no soul act? Or did the soul not matter? So many questions that'd be left unanswered. None would be answered unless he could bring Shizuo back.

"Alright… I'll do it. Just… I'll need a few hours to get things set up."

Izaya was grinning. "Perfect. I'll just stay here until it's time. After all, I have to make sure you don't shirk out on it and actually do do as you said you would."

* * *

It was night. Late at night. Probably a little later than one in the morning. That's when Shinra had everything hooked up. And he was nervous. Who wouldn't be when attempting to bring someone back to life? That…and Izaya was standing next to him, observing everything. Making sure it was perfect. Just how would Shizuo react when he opened his eyes to see Izaya? Not good. That was for sure.

"Shinra, you should quit wasting time and just restart everything for him. Hurry up, or I'll do it, and I didn't research the stuff, so I might mess everything up~" Despite the playful tone, it was dead serious.

Shinra gulped once before starting it up. It had to work, else Izaya might-

Bu-bump.

Bu-bump.

Bu-bump.

The heart monitor. It…it had worked. Shizuo…he was back. Back from the dead. It was only a few moments later did he slowly open his eyes…

* * *

**icywarm: *loves reading post scripts of other fics so starts to make her own***

**Shizuo: And I died because...?**

**icywarm: Because you wouldn't care if Izaya died. Don't worry. I plan on there being no pairings other than canons. My mind may take it differently, but that's how I plan it.**

**Izaya: You didn't explain the death or his coming back very well.**

**icywarm: That is because I lack the will to go look up how Shizuo could have died without his body being damaged in any way, and I didn't want to describe his coming back for fear of getting things wrong. *nods* A very good explanation indeed.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Mmmmm. Yes. Plot bunnies for this are alive and well. *pets the plot bunnies* Why can't you grow for my other fics? Grow for Tsujo Means Normal! *Sobs* If you don't… then I'll have to discontinue it. Maybe even delete it… I give you one week, plot bunnies. Grow for that fic, or I'll hate.**

***cough* Enough of my rambling now.**

**Disclaimer is in chapter one.**

* * *

He hadn't known what happened. One moment, he was perfectly fine, a bit pissed, but fine. A moment later, he had felt tired, his eyes drooping. So, he lay down on the couch and sent a quick text to Celty, telling her that maybe he had gotten sick. Better to be safe than sorry. Strange thing was, he didn't yawn, but he was just so tired and he fell asleep. Except he wasn't.

He felt cold and alone. Nothing all around. He couldn't move. When he heard a knock on the door, he tried to stir, to answer it and let Celty in, but his muscles had locked. Eventually, Celty let herself in. He had heard typing. Celty's phone. But before it finished, there was a sound of it hitting the ground and he felt her hand on his should.

It was shaking.

And it felt warm. Warmer than it usually did. Like it was on fire. Which didn't make sense because her blood didn't circulate. It stayed still. Like she was dead. It was another moment before he felt her shaking him, but he couldn't respond. She even slapped him, trying to wake him. It didn't hurt.

Eventually, she just hugged him close, shaking as if she were crying. He felt her shadows wrap around him before moving to her bike. And then…everything was gone.

Not…everything, as if he didn't exist, but everything, as in his awareness of what was happening.

"Welcome to death. I am Everyone. And I need something from you. Then you can go into your sleep."

What? What was this? Everyone? Bull shit! What do you need from me?

It felt like his hand was _in_ my chest. He, or she, was pulling something out. Would it my heart? A lung? One of the bones? But he didn't pull anything out.

"A soul is always something wonderful to add to my collection. Besides, it'll be used at some point in the future for another's. Do you even know what a soul entitles? How you know if you have one? No. You don't. I don't know why I'm even asking. But I'll tell you. A soul is an embodiment of a person's being. Basically, it is someone's feelings and conscious. You cannot lose your soul if you are alive, unless you were so close to death that it is expected that they die. Then I take it, and that person looses their soul. You know, I recycle souls. It's so bothersome to make more. I can just them over and over and over in new being. But really, it is quite bothersome doing even this. Maybe I should call forth the others."

"Ah, I am not God, you see. Atheists are right. There isn't an afterlife nor is there a God to believe in. Well, not exactly. There is a God who creates. It is his will whether or not a woman can bear children. It's his will if someone lives a good life or not. It was his will that gave you your temper and strength. Really, I just give the beings their souls. Their feelings and consciousness. It was actually between this soul and the one that Orihara Izaya possesses now that I had to decide to give you when you were born. If I gave you the Orihara's, he wouldn't have gotten yours. He is a year younger, and someone else was in the lining for getting it. But, imagine it. His personality with your strength and temper. It would have been so fun to watch. But it wasn't chosen. You see, I don't know what God will give a person. I only decide the soul that is given. Ah, I'm rambling you see."

"Yes. There is no afterlife. You fade. Ah! One more thing before I, or rather you, go. If for some reason, you were to be brought back, you'd be without your soul. So no temper for you. Strength would still be there, or course. You also wouldn't care if you hurt what were your closest friends or family. You wouldn't bat an eye lash if it was your fault that an entire city was wiped out. It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't bother you at all. After all, you wouldn't be driven by emotions. You'd have none. Apathetic. Apathetic, no conscious and inhuman strength. That might be fun to watch. But, I must be going. You must fade. Good-bye."

Before I could say a thing, everything faded.

Only for a moment though. I felt a bed beneath me. I could hear a heart monitor. I felt the presence of two others and…I opened my eyes… Alive. And the first thing I saw was the face of Izaya, followed by Shinra's face.

I felt nothing.

"S-Shizuo?"

My eyes shifted so that I was looking at him. "Yeah?"

"A-are you alright? You've been dead for a couple of hours."

"Dead? Yeah. I know."

Izaya frowned. "Shizu-chan is unusually calm with me in the area. That and you voice lacks emotion."

I didn't smile, nor frown. My expression stayed the same as my eyes moved to settle on Izaya. I bet that they looked dead. "I can't be calm."

"Angry then. But not showing it."

"I can't be angry either."

I could notice a look of confusion in Izaya's eyes. Strange, I saw past the mask that he wore, seeing as Shinra didn't notice it. "What do you feel right now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" He echoed me. "Then what _can_ you feel?"

"I can't feel anything. At least when dealing with emotions."

Izaya's frown only deepened before he turned to leave. "He must have a bit of brain damage from being dead for those couple hours, Shinra. Call me when he's better. And you should also let Celty know that her friend is fine." With that, he was gone, his furry coat disappearing out the door.

"Shizuo? Do you really feel nothing? Can you really feel no emotions?"

"Yeah. I don't have any any more."

* * *

**Me: Aaaannndddd chapter done.**

**Shizuo: Why do I feel like I'm going to seriously kill someone?**

**Me: Don't worry. If you did, it'd only be in this fic of mine and only in the fic. They'd still be able to appear here and stuff.**

**Izaya: Is Everyone going to be a repeating character? I mean, you have him in this, in Nai Wata Shi, in an one-shot. In Tsujo Means Normal-**

**Me: Which I may or may not be discontinuing.**

**Izaya: See? Repeating character.**

**Shizuo: Shut up flea. I still have my temper and stuff here.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So... I deleted Who Am I?... Please don't kill me. I just... Everything for that fic stopped. And I forgot to save the chapters in case I ever did think of a way to keep it going. I just fail. In any case, I have this and Caged Animal to work on. Then I'll be starting another fic.**

**Not until after this and Caged Animal though, got it? *has the plot outline done for that* And this fic here will be short. I know what I want to do and how. I see three more chapters, maybe.**

**This chapter would be longer, not half of the first two, if where I stopped wasn't such a good stopping point.**

* * *

"So… You… You feel no feelings… Why? Do you know why, Shizuo?"

"The soul."

"The… soul?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean by the soul?"

"There was a being there. A person and not a person. He or she said something about your soul leaving when you die. Unless it's clear that you're going to die, you keep it. I was dead. Mine is gone."

"You're… soul is gone…? What does that even mean?"

"No emotions. No conscious. That's what warrants a soul."

"I see… Is there a way to get it back?"

"No. It's permanent. Souls are removed at death and given to a newborn."

"Reincarnation?"

"Recycling. The conscious and how you feel about something is given to another. But it's not the same person."

"Are you alright psychically?"

"Yeah."

"Then you can go, Shizuo."

* * *

A week passed, and Izaya hadn't gone to see Shizuo. It was boring. Not having his monster to play with. Though he had been acting strange. It was boring. Oh so boring. But, a week was a good point for recovery. The brute had come back from being dead, so the fact that he was strange was normal. That normal amount of strange should be back to him back in his unpredictable self now. So… a visit was in order.

A grin spread to Izaya's face at the thought. A visit to Ikebukuro to see his _dearest _Shizu-chan. The monster. He grabbed his jacket before heading out the door.

* * *

"Shizu-chan~ Shizu-chan~ Come out come out where ever you are~" It only took him a moment to spot the blond hair and bartender outfit. It stuck out like a sour thumb. Of course he couldn't really say much different about his jacket, but whatever. Izaya strolled right over to where Shizuo was before tapping his shoulder. "Shizu-chan~"

The blond turned, but didn't yell in rage or start chasing after the raven. "What is it, Izaya?"

_He isn't angry. Or maybe during this past week, he found a way to hide his anger. _Izaya frowned. _Not likely, not at all. _He sighed. "Shizu-chan, its no fun this way. You're supposed to chase me and try to kill me. You have to yell angrily and throw items at me too. Like the street signs and vending machines. Otherwise this is just boring and pointless."

"Do you want me to?"

"Want you to… Yes! That's how it's supposed to be like!"

"Fine. Start running."

"Eh?" Izaya was a bit confused. Fine? Like… Shizuo was indulging him?

"You say it's supposed to be that way, so I'll chase you and run after you while throwing items at you. I'll try to kill you because that's what you want." It didn't really matter to him. Izaya wanted that to happen. Why not? It wasn't like he cared. "So start running, unless you want me to catch you now." There was nothing to hold him back.

Izaya grinned. Maybe it was just indulgence… but at least it was normal. "Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan~!" He started to run. And after about a minute, there was a roar of…

"I-ZA-YA!"

But the raven could tell there was no anger in it. Just a raised voice. Citizens of Ikebukuro wouldn't know the difference though, unless they had a keen ear. Shinra, Celty, the van gang and a few others would know. But that was on.

It didn't matter though, at least for the moment. The chase was on. His fun was back, at least for a moment. He laughed as he ran through the streets, away from his dearest monster.

* * *

**Izaya: He's gonna kill me, isn't he?**

**Shizuo: I'm not a murderer.**

**icywarm: A-hem. Shizuo, you have no feelings or conscious in this fic. Remember?**

**Shizuo: ...**

**Izaya: ...**

**icywarm: No spoilers though~ ^_^ Please review~ (Though I don't ask for reviews most times.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I could have typed this chapter up sooner… but I decided to watch all fourteen (fifteen seeing as the fourteenth has two versions) of the Pokémon movies. I watched them in three days. It was fun. But now, time to update Durarara~ Cause I love my fics and typing up the chapters is fun. ^^ Oh yeah. Typing this up now. Heh-heh.**

* * *

Something was wrong. Different. A bad different. Izaya could feel it. Shizuo's eyes were on him. Locked on. Like a missile. Shizuo was faster too. Did being dead enhance you when you came back? Or… was it something else?

Izaya could only wonder this as he ran, adrenaline rushing through his veins, filling his whole being up. However, the answer was this. Izaya had told Shizuo to try to kill him, like how they used to. Before, Shizuo still had a conscious. There was no way he could kill someone, even if he did want Izaya dead. So before, he just tried to scare Izaya away along with hurting him a lot.

Now… now there was literally nothing to hold him back. Try to kill Izaya? Fine. He would. No conscious. He didn't care if he actually murdered someone with his own hands or not. Before, he subconsciously slowed himself. Now, he let himself speed up after Izaya.

"What's this? Shizu-chan is actually catching up? How horrible~" Really though, Izaya was starting to panic a bit. Not that he'd admit it. _I'll just lose Shizu-chan. That won't be hard at all. After all, he's a protozoan._

Izaya turned the corner, into an alley. He intended to use the maze of alleys as an escape. However, halfway down the alley, Shizuo grabbed him, and pinned him against the wall by means of one of his hands around Izaya's neck.

"S-Shizu-chan…." Crap. Could he talk his way out of this?

Shizuo tightened his fist a bit, causing Izaya to cough. "Try to kill you. That's what you said. And it was easy to catch you. Faster, too, when you slowed to turn the corner."

Izaya gulped, and his hands went to his neck as he attempted to pull Shizuo's hand away. "S-Shi-zu-chan. I-I said try. N-not a-actually kill me." _With the strange way Shizuo's been acting… please let this work…._

Shizuo merely let go, letting Izaya fall down to the ground before turning to walk away, not offering another word.

Izaya let him go. His neck was sore and that was enough for one day. He was nearly killed. Shizuo had never caught him before. He hadn't even gotten close unless he let Shizuo. He played with Shizuo! Not the other way around!

* * *

**Icywarm: And scene, chapter. Thing!**

**Shizuo: That was short.**

**Izaya: You nearly killed me!**

**Icywarm: Hey. My brain told me to. Besides, I never planned to kill Izaya. And yes. I thought that this scene would be longer. Guess not. *shrug* Oh well.**

**Izaya: *grumbles under breath***


End file.
